Funeral Repast – Definition, Customs & Planning

Benefit of a Repast

When a funeral service is over, people are often left feeling alone, empty and unsure of what to do or where to go. Many tend to stand around and look for support or guidance, not wanting to ‘pack up and leave.’

Planning an after-funeral meal or Repast is essential to the funeral and grieving process. It gives mourners a place to go to and allows friends and family to talk, bond and share their feelings and stories about the deceased.

1) Comfort loved ones and offer support

Part of the grieving process and the healing process is to talk and share feelings. This is sometimes hard to do and harder if one is alone. Attending a Repast gives people an informal opportunity to chat and reminisce about the deceased. People who are shy and not used to public speaking can listen and feel involved. Grieving together goes a long way toward helping the healing process and a Repast offers the opportunity for all to get involved.

2) Allow family members to bond

Family members who have not seen each other for long periods can bond, offer, and gain emotional support at a Repast gathering. This is especially true if family members live far away and have traveled long distances to attend the funeral. The Repast provides a safe place to gather, reflect and share thoughts over a meal. 
 

3) Offer personal condolences to the family

Funerals are never planned and one is often caught unawares. In moments of grief and shock, offering personal condolences to the family and loved ones is sometimes difficult and impossible. At the Repast, the setting is more casual and informal. Mourners will feel at ease approaching the family and offering condolences one-to-one.
 

4) Celebrate the life of the deceased

Death reminds us that life is important – it is fleeting and can be snatched away at a moment’s notice. Spending time with friends and loved ones is a wonderful way to celebrate the deceased’s life. At a Repast, the process is informal and from the heart. Unlike speeches at the funeral ceremony, gathering at a Repast allows people to speak more freely and without pressure. Many will want to discuss happy episodes they shared with the deceased. Many will recall special moments that they will treasure for years to come. Family can catch up and celebrate the life after one of us has left this Earth.

5) Bring closure to the funeral process

The word Repast means ‘a meal’ and the symbolic process of Breaking Bread is part of many religious ceremonies. By sharing a meal with loved ones and friends, you begin to bring closure to the grieving process. People know that they are loved and cared about and that others struggle with the same grief. After a funeral, people tend to want to talk and not simply climb into their cars and return home to everyday life. The Repast offers an informal and loving setting that closes off the day, no matter how hard it has been.

Repast or Repass?

Generally speaking, when referring to the reception after a funeral repast and repass can be used interchangeably.

According to Webster, the definition of repass is “to pass through, over, or by again,” and the definition of repast is “something taken as food”. However, the Urban Dictionary defines repass as “the gathering with food, occurs directly after the burial or burial ceremony,” and the definition of repast as “family meal or gathering directly following a funeral.”

Where to Host

After the funeral, people will gather for the repast. Depending on the family, this may be a private or open event for all mourners. 

The venue for your repast will have to be decided on before the funeral and communicated to the guests. 

Depending on the time of the funeral, you may be serving lunch, dinner, or a mid-day finger meal. 

You can hold the repast reception:

This is probably the most convenient venue at the funeral home, as the mourners are already there and won’t need to travel. Many funeral homes have parlors that can hold a large number of people. They also often have staff who will set tables, serve and clean up after the event. The costs of this will have to be arranged beforehand. 

At your church – Many people will be familiar with the church or place of worship that the deceased attended. The funeral will often start in the church before moving to the burial place. Guests can return to the church hall after the service to participate in the repast. Many churches have volunteers willing to help set up tables, serve and clean up after the event. 

In the deceased’s home – Having your repast at the deceased’s home does bring a very personal note to the event. This is the place where the person lived and will hold many memories. If the family is not up to setting up the repast meal, a relative or close friend may take charge. 

At a local restaurant – Choosing the favorite restaurant of the deceased is an option for a repast meal. Arrangements will have to be made with the restaurant to ensure that the tone and mood of the venue are suited for the occasion. The details of the food to be served and the number of people the restaurant can accommodate will also have to be arranged. 

In a place of nature – Choosing a place of nature that was special to the deceased can create a beautiful feeling of comfort for the mourners. It can be a park, river setting, mountain venue, or garden. Outdoor venues can be tricky if the weather turns bad, so this must be remembered. You will also have to arrange to transport seating, food, and drinks and get help to set up and clean up after the event.